Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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