I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
