even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize