My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize