this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
