so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
operation harelip BJ is a go
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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