plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
