do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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