Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
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Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
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Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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