So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
In other news, I just burned my penis
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
