walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
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I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
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We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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