And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize