Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
