all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
