i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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