Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
