we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
