Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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