did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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