somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
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the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
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He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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