He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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