literally had 100 drinks last night.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
