how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
