Nicole vs. Life
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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