Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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