dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
