i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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