It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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