I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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