Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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