We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
