as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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