i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
