Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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