what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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