BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
There are leaves in my underwear?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
