Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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