Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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