I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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