from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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