he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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