I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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