Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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