I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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