so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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