Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
