you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Is it penis luge time yet?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
