Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
