just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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