Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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