we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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