So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
