a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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