I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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