so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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