I must be too annoying 4 u.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Who did Billy Mays play for?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Randomize