the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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