He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
