I wish I only lived at night.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
As shirtless as possible
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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