My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
just tell him i said nine months
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize