You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
