These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
